During this past conference, Elder Ballard challenged us to pray everyday about someone we could help. This stuck with me in a very vivid way since I knew Josh did this most (if not every) day. I challenged myself to get into the habit of doing the same thing.
Recently I made ANOTHER job change. I know! Actually the story behind the reasons and the spiritual lessons I learned are actually a whole other blog post in and of itself. But the basic details (relevant to this post and this experience) are that I could not be the kind of mother I needed to be to my kids right now and keep working in Labor and Delivery. It was my "dream job". I guess because I had finally landed that opportunity, I thought all of the details related to scheduling and having to leave my little guy would fall into place. But they did not. It was HARD to leave, but knowing it was the right thing for my family at this time made it a lot easier. So, I am now back at the Care Center and the Instacare. I never leave Chaz, either Josh or myself are always here for the girls and their needs, and I am bringing home significantly more money, which is helpful and needed for our present circumstances. Anyhow, last night taught me a big lesson about everything in life is about how we serve, not where we serve.
So, back at the Care Center, I feel comfortable. I know that job. I knew it like the back of my hand when I left to have Chaz and never ended up going back after he was born. I do the evening med pass, so I am there from 5:00-10:00 pm (hardly ever actually get out at 10:00, but that is OK).
I have a sweet patient named "M". She is so cute. She is usually in bed when I bring her pills (she likes to go to bed at about 6:00). The routine is always the same. She asks me if she can have some milk, she sits up, I give her the pills and milk, she smiles and tells me she loves me (so sweet), and then she lays back down and goes to bed.
As stated above, I have been trying to pray to help someone specific with something that they stand in need of. Some days, I am only in my house, and realize that my assistance may be to my family or maybe even helping someone via email or Facebook. Nonetheless, I have really been trying to pay attention as to who Heavenly Father sets in my path. Last night as I was passing "M"'s pills, I noticed a beautiful picture of her and her husband sitting on a dresser that was way to far away for her to see. So I walked over, and took the picture off of the dresser. I took it back over to "M" and said "Is this you and your husband?" With that phrase, her face entirely lit up. Her sweet feeble hands grabbed the picture from me, and she began kissing him, lovingly staring into his eyes, and stroking his face. She then proceeded to tell me how much she missed him. That he had passed away in 1988, and how she always wanted to go first. She said that she never knew what he saw in her, but that she was so glad he picked her (which for the record was not true according to her beauty in the picture).
After she got finished talking to me, and I got done having tears fall from my eyes because of her sweetness, she said to me "I wish that picture could be closer to me". The problem was that the frame that the picture sat in would not allow it to be placed close to her bed.
I finished up my med pass, and went and made a copy of the picture. As I re-entered her room at about 10:00, I quietly taped the picture to her wall right next to her head, putting the image of her husband at a perfect eye level to her. I quietly woke her up. She was a bit disoriented and said "what did you need?" I told her to turn her head, focusing her attention towards the picture. As she noticed it, a big smile came to her face, and she began kissing her own fingers, and placing her fingers all over the image of her husband. It was so sweet. She thanked me profusely and quickly went back to sleep.
As I was sharing the experience with one of the CNA's, she told me that "M" would not stop talking about her husband at dinner. Dinner was an hour before I had gone in her room to give "M" her nightly pills.
As I was in her room watching her stare at the copy of the picture placed above her bed, I thought about what the CNA had told me. This is when the spirit bore witness to me that this was the person I had helped for my Heavenly Father. I didn't know she had been missing her husband yesterday. But Heavenly Father knew. He is so mindful of each of us. I post this story on her not at all to boast. I do so first so that you can share in the sweetness of the child like qualities of the precious elderly. They have SO MUCH to offer if we will take time to get to know them. I LOVE that part of working in long term care. Absolutely love it. But, even more amazingly, I cannot believe how much the spirit spoke to me, and bore witness without a shadow of a doubt, that this was the person that Heavenly Father wanted me to help yesterday. I am blown away at how much Heavenly Father loves each of us. He loves "M" so much that he took some young dumb mom who has changed jobs 20 times in the last 2 years (not really 20;), and used her to comfort the heart ache of another one of his precious, beautiful, life experienced daughters as she was painstakingly missing her best friend. I am humbled and so grateful to be a part of his work. I learned far more from that experience that what I offered. But the miraculous thing about serving Heavenly Father, is that I bet "M" feels the same way. We all walk away winners and more importantly FILLED with the spirit of our Savior when we try in all of our imperfections to emulate the what he lived.
Finally, I learned that it is not where we serve but how we serve. Don't get me wrong, helping people with the process of bringing their precious children into the world is a miracle. It was an incredible experience. But.......so is comforting the heart ache of someone on the opposite end of the life spectrum. Babies come her sweet and new and ready to soak in every part of this earth life. The sweet people at the care center are innocent, child like in their own ways, yet have a patchwork of their life experience that they wear on their sleeves that we can learn SO MUCH from if we will take a few minutes and take it all in. These precious individuals are as priceless to our Father as those precious little babies I helped bring into the world just a few weeks ago. Serving these individuals at this point in my life keeps me home to serve those spirits with whom he has entrusted me, and that makes this whole experience even more humbling for me. In every facet of life, it is not where we serve but how we serve those in our circle of influence that matters most. I am thankful for that lesson learned through my experience with my sweet friend "M".
I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who teaches me AMAZING lessons if I will take a few minutes each day and ask for his spirit to guide me. Heaven is real. We are children of our Heavenly Father. He loves us more than we can comprehend. He wants the best for us, and would love for nothing more if we always brought each other's blessings forward by serving those that we are blessed to know in this mortal journey. Of this I have NO DOUBT!
